Chagal4's Blog

O.K. I hate American Idol…I don’t just dislike it…I hate it. It’s one of the many shows that make me wish television had never been invented (CSI Miami is another) . It’s not that I don’t believe the kid down the street who sprays misspelled graffiti on random walls like a cat with bad kidneys couldn’t possibly have talent. If by some strange chance the little shit does possess a talent, I’m sure I could live without knowing. A few years ago I saw a strange phenomenon called “Tots in Tiaras” or “Toddlers in Tiaras”. Scared the crap out of me and I couldn’t go near a T.V. for days. Have you seen it?…They get these tiny girl children painted and primped and dressed up and trained like miniature human drag queens to compete in some outrageous gas bag pageants in the name of doting mothers and freaked out hairdressers, seeking beauty and the promise of future fame and glory…just as soon as we colonize Mars.  The thought of running into one of these scarred children later in life chilled me to the bone. I’m convinced that some day there will be an epidemic of stupid men found killed by a gibbering princess who lost it and started eating their faces. But I digress…again. So American Idol…yes, well if there is a hell, Simon Cowell needs to go there and sing and dance forever…probably old Danny Kaye tunes. Simon claims to have invented the talent show format in Britain and who am I to doubt him…So, here’s the plan…you get a panel of suitably sympathetic characters who have questionable skills for recognizing talent when they see or hear it…get a host who has the personality of a lounge lizard and you line up dozens of people from all walks of life who want to drink Crystal and Red Bull with Russian gangsters in the best nightclubs in Peoria…and get recognized in the local supermarket . “Hey…aren’t you…?”. And these people will perform incredible feats of entertainment in a life and death, cut-throat competition in front an audience of millions. And apparently …who knew?…there is an endless supply of such people. Not just in the U.S.A. but all over the world. Worse still, there are millions of people who not only watch this staggering spectacle but actually phone in their votes for darling flavour of the week. That was hideous enough but as with all things…it gets old. The producers change the panelists…make up little dramas between panelists to boost their celebrity bite …try to find more bizarre acts…even have a contestant collapse on camera…AHAHHH! The ratings blipped on that one. So the big brained demons came up with a great idea…Why not show the “behind-the-scenes-pressure-cooker” get a lot of people vomiting with anxiety…fainting from stress…collapsing under the pressure? Show the world what the entertainment business is all about. And that’s what the mother fuckers did. Turned a reality show into a sureality show. Anxiety pornography. These people ought to be whipped out of town by packs of psychotic children dressed in latex suits with horns and pointed tails. How far away is the end of the world?

I know I shouldn’t hate it…I could simply not watch it. Yet it represents something ultimately depressing for me. I can’t help looking at Simon Cowell’s face and seeing arrogance and a cynicism too deep to fathom. He’s turned people into performing seals and he isn’t surprised by anything that appears before him…good or bad. And that makes us complicit and somehow empty. I can’t help myself…I hate American Idol and all of its ghastly clones.

Just this past week it was revealed that our Minister of What-If-Something-Goes-Wrong,  the honourable Mr. Toews (“the honourable” goes with the office and not necessarily the man) gave approval to the Canadian Security and Intelligence Service to use intelligence gathered by torture. Theoretically it was only to be used if Canadian lives were at stake. This honourable minister of the crown had assured Canadians that torture would not be condoned and that intelligence gathered by torture is considered “tainted”. And so it was assumed by most Canadians that torture was not our policy…ever. But it turns out that the honourable gentleman provided his approval more than two years ago while claiming that it wasn’t so. After all, he is the mInister of What-if -Something-goes-Wrong.

When I was a child of the male flavour I was arrested by my mother on several occasions for “torturing” my sisters. I was probably guilty…but since then whenever the topic or opportunity came up…I have been generally opposed. It’s not that I don’t think it works. I’m sure that it does.  And it isn’t that I’m particularly moral about it. I’m opposed because I’ve always believed that people have missed the point about torture. Torture is not a means of extracting information. It’s a means of inflicting hideous terror upon helpless people in order to convince their friends and relatives that having any knowledge in their heads that the powerful deem to be dangerous…will result in painful oblivion. It is a means of telling people that they can’t know “bad” things and furthermore “don’t even think about it”. Torture is about exercising power over one’s enemies. Any information gleaned is secondary and probably unreliable. I suppose that I should be morally outraged about this business. But being morally opposed seems to me, too narrow. Torturers are rapists and murderers and an astonishing number of them wash their hands and faces…change their clothes and go home every night to a mundane life with wife and family who have no idea and who wouldn’t believe that they live with a vampire. So what of our honourable minister of What-if-Something-Goes-Wrong? His rationalization is beneath contempt. That he’s a politician shouldn’t mean that he is ridiculous and morally reprehensible. If he happens to be it’s probably because he always was. But he’s not alone. The angry frustration of millions makes them want to exercise some terror and power over the insidious and almost invisible bombers and snipers and demons on the other side…whatever side that is. So some of the most ordinary citizens who live next door and down the street listen to the honourable Minister and think…”Well if somebody is thinking about doing something bad to us…we ought to find out about that shit before it’s too late…and if that means torture…as long as somebody else is doing it…H-M-M-M”. And that’s how we come to tolerate rape, murder, torture,anonymous terror, victimizing the innocent…becoming savages, divesting our humanity. It’s not merely morally wrong. It’s evil.

It is evil, honourable Mr. Toews…Minister of Where-Have-We-Gone-Wrong.

Feb 11 2112